Leaving the 99 to search for one

Luke 15:4
“What man of you, having a hundred sheep, if he has lost one of them, does not leave the ninety-nine in the open country, and go after the one that is lost, until he finds it?

We did during the year at some stage discuss this.  Who really goes after that one?  I suppose it depends what it is.  You would not bother about sweets, pegs, pebbles etc etc.  However for  the really serious stuff you would go after that one. 

I pondered this verse a lot this year .... but have found myself questioning during the past 3 months who is the person / are the people responsible for going after that one? 

People drift for many reasons ..... disillusion, disappointment, questioning, questions with no answers, lifestyle, hypocrisy of others ...the list is pretty endless and diversified. 

And when someone who is deeply entrenched in their religion finds themselves a tad disillusioned because of something .... and no it is not me before everyone gets into a flurry ....... but continues to maintain that religious dedication whilst drifting away ..... whose job does it become to go after that one sheep before it is totally lost ..... to search and bring it back ..... to search until it is found? 

There are 2 ways of looking at this in my mind - the one is a family of families who make a concerted, non-judgmental effort with insight and gentleness to bring this person back to the other "99" or do people say "bugger you" and just let that person slip away. 

Which one are you.  Ask yourself.  And be honest in your answer. 

Then go back and read Luke 15:4 ... I think God wanted us to be caring and inclusive of all. 

Food for thought 

Till soon 

open handed kindness

the open-handed random act of kindness

Tonight I chatted to someone at Mass.  Not a person really involved in my personal life, but someone who is aware of the sort of "main" things in my life, as one often is with certain people you regularly go to Mass with.  God has the most incredible timing when putting someone in front of you and inspiring them to say something highly relevant or helpful or kind at exactly the most perfect moment. 

Such was this conversation tonight. 

Wrestling with a number of things in my head at once, and a lot of time to wrestle with them now that I am officially on leave, I arrived at Mass with a very mixed head and mixed heart.  

I had prepared my reading for the evening  well by not only going over it several times, but by going to a Catholic site to have the meaning of it explained (love Google) because I believe that the infliction in your voice is affected by what you perceive the reading to mean.  Sometimes I feel myself emphasising certain words when I read, only to find out when the Priest talks about the first reading in his Homily, that I have failed dismally.  So I find this research helpful.  So I was feeling centred in my mind for this, but at the same time I had a lot of stuff spinning in it and I was trying to find the calm space.  In all this time I had a chat to a fellow church-goer. 

And in that 10 minute conversation he took such an interest in Jess' recovery, gave advice on the fact that we do not know where to have the staples removed in CT and just chatted in general about stuff I told him, that I was feeling completely in my calm space when the Mass bell was rung.  

And then straight after that our Priest spoke about closed fisted and open handed people.  And trying to be the latter.  And be it consistently.  It touched me for a variety of reasons, but it made me think on the way home of one fellow parishioner who had spoken to me for 10 minutes with an "open hand".  

Thank you ...... your random act of kindness came at the perfect time. 
Tomorrow I will try and pay it forward

"Nothing can make our lives or the lives of other people more beautiful than perpetual kindness" - Tolstoy 

Till soon 
c'est la vie 
xxx 

Christmas ... can you taste it?

So deck the halls with boughs of holly. 

On second thoughts perhaps don’t.  And no fake snow. 

Because it is December.  In Pretoria it is 36 degrees outside.  Not even the slightest indication that snow is a-coming. 

I am a huge fan of Christmas trees and decorations.  Of all things sparkly and twinkly (although those that know me will tell you that I am a sparkly and twinkly fan 365 days of the year).  I love Lebkuchen and Christmas cake (why can we not eat it in other months?), I love tinsel, chasing lights, candles and incense. I know the words to all the carols and can be seen singing along merrily in my car.

I just do not want to do or have anything in the above paragraph on the 29^th of October already.  Which is when I saw the first Mall Christmas tree.  In the 2^nd week of November I found myself singing along to Silent Night in another mall until I realised what the hell I was doing and switched to something more current.  Like Eminem. 

Our tree will go up this weekend, which is late for us.  I have a load of 15 year olds descending on our home on Saturday for a sleepover.  One that is apparently lasting till the following Friday.  Aforementioned teenagers will be roped in for the tree event.  We did the same last year.  My hubby has one job and one job only each year – to unroll the Christmas lights and place them on the ground in a straight stripe for putting up.  In the first 5 years of our marriage this was a fun task which he did with great glee.  We were “newly-weds”.  Then in the next 5 years he started to look a little testy ….. showing me how we should “rather have” packed them away.  In years 10 -15 he displayed less patience …. Christmas light unfolding fell into the same category as packing our luggage into the boot when going on holiday.  We nearly had to go for couples counselling.  He muttered some stuff whilst unravelling the lights …. It was NOT the words to Santa Clause is coming to Town.  Between 15 and 20yrs of marriage I considered hiring a handyman to sort out the lights and now after 22yrs we have it sorted.  I roll them when the tree comes down and I unroll them when it goes up …. Wish I thought of that 2 decades ago.  He checks the bulbs and we carry on. 

Do we have rules.  No.  When our kids were 5 and 1, our tree looked like it was done by kids of 5 and 1.  As it should be.  Over the years the symmetry of the ornaments, the evenly spread lights and decorations have increased greatly, as their ages did.  Now at 19 and 15 we have perfection. 

I believe the way the tree looks should “grow up” as your children do.  I hope they come and decorate it every year once they have both left home. 

We do not do Gluwein.  We would rather have our fondue forks stuck through our eyes than drink Gluwein.  At a party about 15 years ago our host was thrilled at how much of it we kept having as she refilled our glasses.  Her potplant in the passage was saturated as we were pouring it out in there.  Nor do we do Eggnog.  Just so we clear.

Another thrill is the Advent calendars with choccies.  No, you are not too old at 48 to have one.  It is the best thing to slip that choccie in your mouth en route to bed.  I would not have it any other way.  Advent calendars are always in our home.  The trick is to not have eaten 1 to 9 Dec when it is only the 4^th.   And Christmas cookies.  Every house should know the smell of Christmas cookies in the oven!  

And then the most important – the real Christmas joys …..one is our Nativity Scene.  This too has grown over the years.  Our initial one got smaller and smaller as little hands dropped a sheep, the one Shepard and eventually the manger …. It was becoming tricky and when we accidentally lost Mary’s head, it was time for a new nativity.  And now we have a lovely one with 25cm figurines, and the kids lovingly pack it out each year.  It almost takes longer than the tree. 

They went through the blessings for the Advent wreath and on Sunday as we lit the first candle, they read the pieces that were relevant to the lighting of the first candle.   We think a lot about what Christmas means in our house, not the sparkly tree and gift part, but the sparkly in our hearts bit, the love we feel, the great event that is coming soon, the warmth of a manger that is bringing to us such a wonderful gift, wrapped in love and eternal compassion and understanding.

Taste and feel it .......

Christmas is a-coming.  Look towards your church.  Live Advent.  Look at your family.  Pray. Prepare and wait in excitement for that wonderful moment.  Drench yourself in joy and thanksgiving.

Can you feel it? 

till soon,

take a Leap of Faith xxx

Fear and the 5 talents

Interesting Gospel this week ..... Matthew 25:14-30 .... a master handing out talents (gold) to his slaves for them to look after while he is away (ok that is the gist of it, just not written as eloquently as the Bible has it).  When he returns, 2 of his slaves have doubled what he left them in charge of and 1 slave has simply returned what he was given.  Dialogue takes place and the latter slave is taken to task because he did not do anything.  Seems he held back out of fear.  He did what he thought was right.  Turns out he should have risked, looked forward, showed initiative, showed enthusiasm and tried to impress his boss.  Much like an office situation. 

That is the short and simple version.  

But the fear part?  After the Bible Study class this gave me much food for thought.  When the word "fear"came out in the class, it felt like 20 shuttered windows slammed open simultaneously in my mind.  This thought stayed foremost in my mind for the rest of Thursday and all of Friday, late into the night. 

How do we let fear rule our lives?  Fear of failure, fear of others, fear of upsetting people, fear of causing dissension, fear of stepping out, fear of standing out, fear of ridicule, fear of harsh words, fear of so many things?

How often do we not try things because we are worried what people will say / think / be judgemental about?  When we might have been very successful. 
How often do we stand down to others because we are scared of the repercussions of speaking up?  When perhaps it would be good for the relationship.
How often do we not speak up when we have an idea in case we look foolish?  When that idea could be a very valuable one? 

I find myself guilty of all of the above. 
Will I work at it? Perhaps.  I would love to shout out a resounding YES, but I know that a little fear will always hold me back to some extent. 

I have an idea in my head.  For a project that would help people.  Not aimed at the desolate or underprivileged.  Not aimed at those in shelters.  But aimed at another group of needy people.  Those that find themselves struggling financially within our circles.  I want to work with those who carry it bravely in their everyday lives.  Our colleagues, friends, fellow church family.  People who we interact with regularly.  Because there is a lot of need in the strangest places. 

I have an idea of something I would like to be involved in. 

Now to just speak up.  

Go and read the Gospel ......... and be the one who had 5 talents and added 5 more. 

Take a Leap of Faith 

Cracking open the Bible Books

I have had a number of friends be part of a Bible Study group.  I was never sure what this was.  A continuous group reading of the Bible? A quiz like situation where you were lost if you did not know all the Books in the correct order? 

I went to a Bible Study group many many years ago.  Twice.  It was a mixture of the two scenarios above and I battled to fit into either.  I found myself paging frantically through my Bible, trying to look as if I knew exactly where the Book being referred to was located, repeating in my head what we all know, Genesis and then... Matthew, Mark, Luke and John ..... and hoping to spot Hebrews along that last route, which of course I wouldn't. Because it isn't.  I never went back.  

This year our Parish started Bible Study and feeling enthused I decided to join.  Well.  Look. At. Me. Now.  

I know that all the "ians" are together ... Corinthians, Galatians, Ephesians, Philippians, Colossians and Thessalonians ... I call them the Ian family.  I know that when I get to James, Peter and John that I have just missed Hebrews one step before.  I know that any name that I probably battle with slightly is more than likely in the Old Testament.  I know that Psalms and Proverbs are there and a myriad of other little laws for myself.  I won't be able to recite the order, but at least I do not look for 1 Timothy around the Song of Songs area :).  Why?  Because T comes after S.  Simple hey?

I am now working on finding and knowing which stories I will find where.  I would love to have someone talk about Jesus Healing a Man Born Blind ... and BOOM I know exactly where it is .... now that I know where to find Jesus Talks with a Samaritan Woman, I am waiting with anticipation for someone to mention it and I can throw into the conversation "yes, mmmm John 4, one of my favourites".

Our Bible Study group is lead by our Parish Priest.  I am the youngest attendee (I think) so I am surrounded by a LOT of wisdom.  This is a wonderful group of women, plus Fr Chris and sometimes Deacon Tony.  Fr C knows the Bible as well as I know the best coffee shops in Pretoria.  Beyond extremely well.  There are ladies in the group who can cross reference like nobody's business - I still look a little like Bambi in headlights at some stages. 

But these Thursday morning classes ........ they make the Gospel come alive ... we learn that the initial reading is always pretty superficial and then we do what Fr C calls "scratching Scripture" and we break open every word and every nuance of that piece .... finding new meaning, new expression, forcing us to think out the box.  We look at the map in the Bible and we get totally immersed in the stories we read ..... when Fr C says "isn't this amazing?" .... we agree ..... damn, this is!   This usually leads us to a related debate on a more modern day issue and it really is an hour of sharing, interaction and learning. 

No get together at a "kerk" is complete without coffee and cookies.  We are no exception.  We huddle around the little Nespresso machine and discuss the day to come and then we go our separate ways .... me being fortunate that my office is only ten steps down the passage ....... and all day I mull that particular Scripture piece in my head. 

So, how do you feel about "The Kingdom of Heaven is like a mustard seed"...... do you know where to find that?? 

till soon 
Take a Leap of Faith xx 

Same Sex Orientation and the Family of God

So this month is Mission Month.  In our Parish our very forthright Priest has arranged a series of Tuesday Talks.  Taking place in the church we are going to hear, and discuss, several issues of importance in our modern day lives.  In fact these are not new issues, they are here since forever issues, but they will force many people out of their comfort zone. 

This is a good thing. 

Tomorrow night we kick off with "Same sex orientation and the Family of God" .... I hear a lot of cheering ... I also hear some "ongemaklike" squirming and fidgeting. 

Come with an open mind, asks Fr Chris.  I hope this is heard by all.  Come ... come and listen .... parents, kids, young adults, pensioners, middle aged people, for and against, come and listen.  

Remember that wonderful verse John 8:6 "He who is without sin among you, let him be the first to throw a stone at her."

I will be there.  My kids will be there.  It is an issue we feel strongly about.  I get quite feisty and my daughter even more so.   

And before you tell me "that everyone is entitled to their own opinion",  I agree, but I will never agree with those who use demeaning terminology, judgemental comments and generalised misperceptions and stereotyping.   He who is without sin ........ 

The following week we discuss Divorce, Annulment, Remarriage and the Church ..... I love October!! 

Till soon 
Be open minded 

When to be a Parent. When to be a Friend.

So when are you a friend and when are you a parent?  
It would seem that the kneejerk reaction of most would be never a friend, always a parent. 

However today things are different in many ways and parents and kids (mostly) relate on a whole different level to when I was growing up. 

Interactive conversation, opinions, debates and thoughts are much more open and expressed today between parents and kids, parents and teens and parents and young adults.  There is less of the do as I say kind of parenting and more of the do as I say but we can discuss why, kind of parenting.  I do not mean that every word out of your mouth is to be questioned and debated (oh wait, I have a 15 year old, so it is), I simply mean that with the vast amount of social media activity amongst youngsters and the even vaster amount of information they have access too, it is to be expected that healthy debate can, and should, take place. 

I have found these discussions, debates, interactions and even sometimes fallouts to be of huge value.  Through these, in as gentle a way as possible you get to actually get a beautiful view of what goes on in your child's head (and I mean all ages) and in their lives. That clam up thing that kids do, especially boys at a certain age, can be gently melted with some conversation.  Now parents .... note the word conversation.  Not reprimanding.  Not giving the 3rd degree.  Not starting any sentences with the words "now when I was young" or "If I said that to my mother" etc etc.  Ease yourself into a chat.  And don't tell me it is difficult.  Because I know all the pitfalls and I know that you may have to have 256 non-starter chats and retries before you make a breakthrough.  Some kids (normally up to about 9 or 10 yrs) will talk your ear off and give you EVERY detail about their day, every bathroom visit, everything their teacher said and so forth. This seems to manifest itself again in the late teens stage ... my 19 yr old daughter tells me EVERYTHING about EVERYTHING in detail of her day at chefs school and anywhere else.  My son?  My son needs to be coaxed ........ but when he gets going then we have the most fantastic conversations, at least 70 % of the week, and that is a great average to have. 

Don't say "how was your day" because you are going to get "ok" and then dear parent?  Where you gonna go now with the conversation?  I like to try what was the greatest thing about your school day .... sometimes I get one word "sandwiches" ... that is perfect ... it beats "ok" and gives me something to build on ..... what was on them (my hubby makes school lunches).  When your child has a bad day, allow some simmering and quietness .... when I have a bad day I do not want to play 20 questions with anyone ... give your children this same respect.

And bedrooms .... it is theirs .... allow it to be so.  You can lay down the basic rules about what may and may not be hung on the walls, but allow their area of interest to be displayed.  If they go home from school and collapse on the bed and remain silent for 2 hours .... bite your tongue!!!!!  They will come out I guarantee .... because hunger will drive them towards you at some stage. 

I am always my kid's parent.  But I am also their friend.  Not a friend in the BFF, share our secrets, tell me all your fears and other stuff in your life way.... but a friend in the sense of someone who is always there, who you can always call in a crisis, who will LISTEN when you have done something wrong and try hear your side, who will tell you that your hair is ok, when it is a little weird, who will buy you a peppermint crisp shake at 11pm and go to Burger King at crazy times, just for fun.  Who knows the words to many of the latest songs and allows you to play your music through the car Bluetooth en route home, even though it may not always be my favourite songs (although most are), who will watch a movie with you at all hours....... and then when I need to be a parent I tell them about bedtimes, that their hair needs to be cut, that they should think before they do and all the other parenting type things ..... 

Balance ... it is about balance .... and Communication. 

Let go and relax just a tad parents ...these will be special times otherwise that you will miss with your kids. 

till next time, 
Keep the Faith
xxxx